Human
by N.V.9
Summary: Caught in an endless cycle of loneliness, Naruto the lake demon, lives century after century wishing just to have one friend. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

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Once more the century turned. The sun would rise, the sun would set. Once more I died and was born again. Forever trapped by this little lake. Forever alone.

In the distance I hear what I wish I could become. I dream of them, wishing I was one of them. Closing my eyes I can almost believe that it is true, but when they open, another piece of my heart breaks.

Why must I be alone, when everything in the world has someone to hold on to. To laugh with. To embrace and love. To simply talk to.

Why must I be a demon of this wretched lake that keeps me prisoner? A lake that no one knows is there. It's beauty has become the most revolting thing alive. I despise this lake with a passion. I despise the trees that grow and cut me off from what I so dearly wish to hold.

I do not know when I came to be stuck by the lake. I do not remember when I was cursed to be alone. To live a century only to die and come back a year later.

It is that year of death that I treasure so much. It is a year I do not have to cry myself to sleep or beg for a friend. It is peaceful, quiet, paradise. It is the only thing that keeps me sane.

But when that year ends, I wake once more beside the lake and cry. My tears falling like diamonds upon the non moving water. Ripples form and fade away becoming once more like the stillness I hate.

For a year after I wake, I search as far as I can around the lake with no name hoping and praying that someone has come to live with me. But every year I am faced with disappointment.

A disappointment so large I cannot move. I cannot breath. I cannot see. I cannot do anything but cry.

Does the world hate the demon I am? What did I do to deserve this loneliness? I only wish for a friend. Someone I can speak to. I only wish to say hello and know what it feels like, what it sounds like, to hear that one word echoed back. To see the pleasure in another's eyes as we laugh and be merry all day, all night.

What was I before I became me? Was I truly a beast that angered a god, cursing myself to this place of hell? What sin did I commit that brought me here? When will this punishment be lifted? When will I find what everyone else has?

When will day and night bring me joy?

Never, I think.

Perhaps my sin is so great that I am damned for eternity. Tied together with this lake. So long as the lake exist so do I. How i wish it would die, giving me the peace I so crave.

Maybe if it died I will be reborn a human. A human who is not alone. I would have a friend, a mother, a father, a brother, and sister. I will grow like the humans do and marry. I will have a child like the humans. I will grow old and die a peacful man like a human and I will not be born again. I will go on to the next world, not stuck here with this taunting lake.

Will no one be a demons savior? Will no one come to my aid? Will this cycle of living ever end?

How long have I been here? Seven, nine milleniums that I have lived?

They all blur together after a while. Why remember a certain day if they are all the same? It either rains or it shines. It never snows. Why wont it snow around this lake?

I see snow just outside the circle. Only inches from me, but I can not touch it. No matter how hard I try I can not reach it. I scream my frustrations when I see the snow I cannot touch. When it comes, I close my eyes and pretend I can. I know it is cold, but what the texture is, I can only guess. Yet with every guess I know it is never right. Soon, even that angers me. I come to hate the snow only to wish it back as soon as it is gone.

When it comes time for the trees to change, nothing happens around this lake. Again I am forced to watch from a distance. When I stare long enough, though, it shimmers and fades away.

The seasons pass quickly here, all save for summer that is. Summer last forever.

Sometimes I feel as if summer and the lake enjoy my heartache. That they come together and laugh at my perdicament.

It is funny, that a demon as old as I, can still cry and break to pieces. You would think I would feel indifferent to this after so long of living. Maybe that is another punishment. Perhaps my heart knows no happiness because the gods willed it that way.

Taking a breath to try and ease my aching heart, I stand. Once more I am reborn to roam these never changing woods, this never moving lake. With sadden eyes, I begin my search.

I know once more I will disappoint myself, but even that does not stop me. For there is always a chane something will change. There is always a chance that someone will love this demon.

Deep in my heart I know I tell myself lies. Why do I always raise my hopes high when I know they will crumble like dust? I do not have an answer to this.

"Please," I beg looking toward the sky, "Please give me happiness this century. Please let me suffer no more."

Maybe this time the gods will favor me. Maybe this time they will grant me my wish. Even if it is only a day of happiness I shall recieve, I will be content for the rest of my never ending life. I will treasure that day, as if it is gold. For to me it will be more valuable then gold. Only one day is all I ask. Will the gods listen to me this time? Or will they turn a deaf ear on my pleas? I pray it is the first and know that it will most likely be the last.

"Will I forever be alone?" No one answers as I knew would be the case. Long ago, I grew tired of speaking so many words. Only when I wake do I speak. Beyond my last question I say no more. I do not wish to hear myself. It shows me how truly hated I am that not even the animals will respond to my voice. Even the bugs fade away when I speak. Without looking at the lake I take my first few steps away.


	2. Chapter 2

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Something is off, is the first thing that comes to my mind, something is different.

With my heart beating quickly, I pick up my pace and sprint away from my hated home. Something feels lighter almost freeing.

I feel something odd happen to my face and it takes me a moment to realize I am smiling. So this is what excitments feels like, I think to myself.

Soon I feel the pulls of the lake as it tries to call me home. I feel it begging me to return to it's wet embrace. When I push it out of my mind, it comes back with a vengence. It's anger beats at my heart and my body. I feel pain beat at my mind, but that too, goes ignored. Not even this pain can wash away my joy.

It is an odd feeling to have. Joy. It's refreshing and beautiful. It's like an angel's touch in my demon heart.

So my heart does feel what I no longer remembered, I think. I am glad.

The lake now sounds lonely and sad. It calls to me, tells me to come back. Don't leave me, it says. Don't go. Stay with me.

Yet I still walk in slower steps. I am almost at the edge of my clearing but I know something is waiting. Something wonderful is going to show itself to me and no matter what the lake screams, I will find what my heart tells me is out there.

I feel the anger of the lake. It threatens to wipe away my fascination of my new life. It say's I'll only find heartbreak and deception, that there is nothing there or will ever be there.

No, I thought back, I will not believe your lies.

But still it argues with me. You will find nothing, we are meant to be together, we were created for one another. The gods gave you to me as they gave me to you. Without the other we are nothing.

Nothing? That is what I already am. I let the lake feel my hatred. A hate so grand that no other emotion will ever appear for it. So what if the gods condem us both, I will not suffer with you.

I feel a tremble and then sadness floating around me, but then it is gone. The lake says no more as it decides to use strength instead of words. It's essence wraps around me, stopping me in place.

Leave me! I beg, Let me free!

I struggle in a beastly manner as I get closer to the end of my rope. The lakes knows once I get beyond the tree, that I will see whatever is there and once I see it, the lake knows I will wish to stay at the edge until forever.

With one last pull, I break free from the clutches of my enemy. I hear its cries in the stillness of the air.

Reaching out, I touch the branch blocking me from my discovery. As I hold my breath, I gently brush it aside and peek through the shadows of the trees.

Is this a dream? Is this real? Oh please, I beg, don't let this be a lie. Don't let this be a misleading dream or a fantasy. Please let this be real.

Please. Please. Please.

Tears form and fall down my face. My breath stops inside my chest.

Just outside my clearing, only feet from where I stand, is a house. A beautiful house painted white. It stand out amongst the greens and browns of the forest.

But it's not the house that has captured me in such a way. It's not the yard that's beautifully decorated or the roses that bloom. It's not the perfection of such a place in the middle of the wilds. No, none of that.

It's the people I see. Its the family that laughs with friends as they cook their meal outside. The children that run and play. The mothers that laugh and relax. It's the fathers that joke as they stand in a circle. It's all of them.

This is the dream I so dearly craved. This is the life that is now a part of mine. This is... This is what I know I'll love. Though I know it is not me they speak to, I know I will never tire of hearing them.

Falling to my knees in bliss, I sob into my hands.

Finally, a god has answered my prayers.


	3. Chapter 3

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It's been days since the family has moved in and made my painful wilds a home full of love and dreams. It is a home I wish to be part of but will always feel content to watch from the distance.

Dreams were never meant to become reality. They were never meant to be answered or even thought upon beyond your mind. They were always a desire one would wish for but would never gain.

That is what I once thought. I believed it so much that I fell to pieces. My dreams were never meant to be.

But here it is. Here is this family, living beside me. Here is my dream or a portion of it. For I wish to speak to them and let them see me. I wish it so badly that my heart aches but I know that the gods can only give me so much. I know to ask for more will anger them. I do not wish to see this new family gone before I wish to say good-bye. For I never wish to utter those words. I never wish for them to leave me. I never wish for them to be gone before my mind fully comprehends what it now has.

I love to sit here, by this tree, and close my eyes. I love to pretend that I am out there playing as well. That the children are chasing me in their silly games. I love to pretend that when the mother sings in her garden, she does so because she knows I am out here listening.

Their voices bring me pleasure. To hear a voice, not my own, speaking in a joyful manner or even when they are angry and their voices become rough, I enjoy it. Sometimes when they ask a question to one another, I answer them.

It's odd hearing my voice. It's odd to know my tongue can still speak such simple words. I never thought that I would speak beyond my first waking.

When I hear the tearful scream of one of the children, my eyes open and immediatly rush to the youngest little angel. His dark locks falling into his face as he cries and holds his knee. The other boys rush to his side and try to calm them.

I soon see the father come forth and quickly scold them for playing too rough. I watch in awe as he moves to the little one's side and gently picks him up. Then they are gone, both disappearing behind the walls I someday wish to see.

I seem to aquire more wishes as the days go on. Everyday another seems to be added on to my list.

I smile sadly for the list will only grow and I fear one day that even seeing this family will bring me great sorrow. That I may even one day hate them like I do the lake. I never want this to happen and I tell myself to simply be happy to watch.

Resting my head once more against the tree, I sigh sadly as the other boys disappear behind the walls and leave my sight. They will not be out again tonight. Maybe tomorrow they will venture into my forest and speak to me.

The lake is calling me again. It ask if I will return. I ignore it's gentle caresses and hopeful reaches. Let it see that it no longer has me. That it lost me so long ago when I first opened my eyes. No, that is wrong. I used to love the lake, my only companion in this big world. I would swim within it's liquid embrace for hours. When I grew tired, I would move to the rock within the center and rest as it's soothing waves would sing me to sleep.

Then one day I grew tired of this and ventured beyond the lake. That is when my love turned to anger and my anger to hate. The lake, not wishing to see me go, would force me back painfully and hold me in it's embrace for many nights afterwords. As the years went on, I would always get farther away before it could stop me.

It was jealous of everything that I came to pass and because of this, it pushed everything else away and punished me to my hell. The gods must have hated me. Must have hated us when they gave us to one another. Did they not see that we were never meant to be? That one day I would wish for freedom that neither of us had?

The lake is singing it's painful song again. It knows I can hear it and so sings to the night sky in hopes that I will return. What I only feel the need to do is scream. I wish to scream for it to die and leave me be. I wish to curse it to every dark shadow in the realm for what it has done to me.

I am not a prisoner! I wish to cry, I wish to cut these chains around my soul and the bars around my body! But I know even if I do, the lake will only go silent before trying again.

Closing my eyes I rest and hope the next day comes quickly.

When I open my eyes, I turn to the house and gasp. The object that carries them from here to another place is gone! Have they left me? Did the lake chase them away before I could stop them?

My heart is breaking. It cries in agony and fear. My heart.

A demon has no heart, the lake says, it is as cold as the bottom of your soul.

That is not true! I scream in my head, I have a heart! I have a heart!

When it does not answer for many long moments I think I have won, but to my surprise, it answers. Then tell me why you love me no more? Tell me why I yearn for a love that will never return from your ice of a heart?

I sneer at it's questions. It does not deserve an answer, but still it demands to know. Still the lake screams for answers. I cover my ears to block it's anger, but it does little. It demands answers. It demands me.

"Leave me!" I scream squeezing my eyes shut as I tremble in pain. "Leave me be! You say you love me but you only hurt me!"

Just like that the lake goes silent. Tears fall down my face as I curl into a ball. Sobs escape me as I still tremble. Love. It wants my love. Why love a beast that hurts me? I think. Why love a devil that tries to claim my soul?

I was a fool once, to ever love it. I wanted nothing but it's acceptence. Now I want nothing from it. Now I want it gone and away from me.

My eyes become dry as I stare into nothing. My body is stiff. My heart is... it hurts. There is nothing there. I am like the lake. I wish for the family to stay and if I could, I would stop them from leaving me. I am the lake but I am not. I have no hold over them. I have nothing. I am nothing.

When I hear the noise of the object that has been gone all day, I sit up quickly and watch as the family gets out with bags of food.

I feel a smile spread across my face.

Soon they are inside and I think I will not see them anymore, but to my surprise another object comes behind the first and stops. More people have arrived and a furry creature jumps out the back and barks happily.

I move forward and stop as the lake tightens around my body. I damn it to the end of the world and back, but it does not seem to care.

The boys come out of the house and began chasing the creature around. The circles get wider and they slowly come closer.

My breath freezes in my lung. They will come into my home. They will enter my circle. This brings me joy and I wait in anticipation as they run just out of my reach.

But when they run right to my perch, upon the ground, I am gone.


	4. Chapter 4

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I am a coward. It runs through my mind like the breeze moves through the sky. It's constantly moving and demanding attention. Coward. That is me. That should be my name. What else could it be? How could I have ran? How could I have given up my one and only chance to get my greatest wish?

It was never meant to be, the lake answers my silent questions, we were never meant to know them as they were never meant to know us.

Shut up! I scream at it. You know nothing!

I will not fall back into it's web. It won't happen. Not again. I won't belong to the lake. I am my own. I am a... coward.

Running like a child, afraid of the dark. Running like prey runs from its hunter. Running because I could not face children.

Perhaps today. I'll make it up today. I'll start over and wait for them to come and when they do, I'll be waiting. Yes. That is what I'll do.

Nodding my head, I set back to my new found favorite place, by the overgrown tree. I'll wait all day for them, or forever if I have to. I'll wait until I can not wait no more, until I die and am reborn. I'll wait. I'll wait until the last day of forever comes.

Heartbreak, the lake whispers almost as if it were a promise. It sounds so sure of what I am heading for. It thinks it knows me but it does not. It does not know anything but it's own hell. It can't predict the future, only tell me of the past. But our past intertwines and so I know of it as well. I see my past when I dream, but I see my future just before me.

I see my future with companions and laughter. With the children running to greet me every morning and pouting as they went to bed every night. I see my future filled with joy and wonder. It's almost to real to take in.

Pain, the lake calls out to me.

No, never pain. The only pain I feel is when I must speak to you, I tell it.

Suffering, it tries again.

I suffered already, you were the cause of it.

Death.

Everything dies, I counter. Ignoring the rest of what it says I sit on the ground and gaze through the leaves.

The house is silent. Almost too still but I know they are in there. I can hear the music of their laughter floating through the air, or a hint of it. I can hear them as if I were with them. I pretend it is I, that makes them laugh. That it is I, that keeps them happy.

As I watch the house I see the creature that barks. I believe it is called a dog. He's their dog and he's come to live with him. I heard from the father that he'll get bigger. That this is only the beginning. Bigger then this? Is that possible? I know there are creatures out there that are enormous, bigger than even me, but this one... this one is already big and still he will grow?

What does it feel like to grow? I wonder. I was never so lucky to get that special gift. When I come, I am already me. I do not age, I do now grow taller or shorter with age. I do not lose anything or gain anything. I am already the way I will always be. The way that the gods have made me. I do not get the choice to change. I've tried to change me once. Seconds later I was the same. It was in the beginning when I first began to feel hate.

A coldness presses against my cheek before something warm replaces it. I jump as if I were attacked. With my heart beating so quickly, I can hear little else, I slowly turn and meet the curious gaze of the thing they call a dog.

It stands there watching me as it wags its tail, his mouth opened as if grinning. When I do nothing, he barks. It's so loud up close. I knew it was loud when he made his greetings but up close it's like thunder for my ears alone.

When I still do nothing, he lowers his front half and his bottom is waving excitedly in the air. I know he does this when he wants to play.

Do you wish to play with me? I ask him and he jumps before he barks again. With a grin spreading across my face I stand. Reaching for a small branch above, I break it and he barks again. Before I know it, the stick is flying and he is running after it.

Laughter spills from my lips as I run after him.

All day we play and run. I make sure to keep him away from the monster that is the lake. I keep him far away from it. We play on the ground and roll without a care in the world. I notice that he enjoys playing with teeth. He likes to nibble and jump.

I do not mind. I find I like the touch of another creature so close to me. I find that I love this feeling of another beating heart.

When we tire ourselves out, we lay on the ground, side by side, and I speak to him. I tell him about my dreams and my wishes. I tell him I wish he was mine and that I could take care of him if he wished to stay. I tell him words that I no longer understand only because I enjoy someone else listening to me. For the first time, I have a friend.

When I roll over to face him, he lifts his head and looks at me. His eyes full of love and devotion.

"Will you be my friend?" I ask quietly afraid that I will be denied.

The dog shifts closer to me and licks my cheek. I smile. My first friend. I have finally found one.

In the distance I hear someone calling. Their words are far away but I know what they seek. They are trying to take him from me. They want him back. I want to lash out and say, 'you'll already have your family, can I not have my own?' but it is me being selfish once more. Once more I am asking for something that will never be mine.

Standing, I motion for the dog to follow me. With a happy bark he does as I ask and when we get closer to his masters, he tilts his head and runs off. Good-bye, I whisper sadly. I know he won't come back. Why would he? He has all that he needs with him, I have nothing to give him.

Turning away, I take two steps before he comes running back. I am confused. He barks at me and jumps up. I open my arms and hug him. I tell him it's okay to return home. That I understand and still he barks. It's then I see that he is telling me that he'll come back. That it's not good-bye.

With tears of joy, I kiss his head and I promise to see him again. Once more, he is off but this time I am okay.

I have a friend. I have a reason to smile again. Tomorrow and the next day and everyday to follow he'll come back.

Agony.

No, I answer the lake, Hope.

Hurt.

Healing, I say.

Empty.

Full, I answer angrily.

Sadness.

I will be happy.

Death.

I do not care for any of the lake's single words. I find that I hate them all. Why does it keep telling me of death? I do not fear death.

I do not fear it.


	5. Chapter 5

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I'm waiting as I have been for the last five weeks. I do not understand why the dog hasn't returned to me. Does he find me repulsive as well? Has he figured out why the seasons don't touch me? Where is he and why isn't he here? Why are his masters here but not he?

Was he not my friend? Was I not his? This ache in my heart is painful. I haven't felt this pain for a long time. Since I first realized I was not a friend of the lake but it's prisoner. It hurts to breath, to speak, to move. The only movement from me is the painful heaving as I sob and beg for him to return.

"Come back to me." I whisper through my tears. "I'll love more then before."  
Gone, the lake whispers in my head. Gone like them all.

Not him, I say back, never him.

But even I am beginning to have my doubts. Was it only for a few weeks that he was mine? Did the gods decree that more then enough time for me to have a friend?

Friend, the lake says after a long silence.

Prisoner, never a friend. I tell it.

How can a prisoner love or car for it's warden? There will always be hate for the lake within my heart. It is its fault that I am here. It had to have been the lake that demanded my soul to be tied to its. The gods are cruel creatures to have agreed to its wishes. Perhaps it was the lake that told them of my friend. That had to be it, The lake spoke out of jealousy and because of this the dog is gone.

Wiping angrily at my tears, I stand and turn to face the lake that was once my trusted friend. I let my hate free and my rage fly through the air. I let it know how much it has hurt me again and how much I hate it.

You are nothing to me, I tell it, You are nothing.

Friend.

Not my friend, I promise.

I feel the lake's sadness at my words. I know he mourns the loss of what we once had but I do not care. The lake is my enemy. It is the one I hate the most. The lake deserves nothing as it has taken everything from me. Turning away from the lake's cries, I face the home of the people that have taken my friend away.

I hate them too. I hate them for following the gods words that heard the hidden words spoken by the lake. They are my enemies. They are nothing to me as well. They were never my friends, just a dream. They were never mine, how can I belong to something that knows nothing of me?

Turning away from them, I swipe my claws down the bark of the tree that I would always meet my lost friend at. Without a backward glance I walk away.

It has been days since I've seen the lake that will not stop calling to me and days since I've seen the family that took my friend away.

I curse the gods and the world for this torture they have put me through. Hate is eating at me as my rage grows with each moment passed. I haven't moved from my new perch away from the family and away from the lake.

I have decided to waste away right where I sit. This lifetime I will fade like before only to come back again. It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing does.

In the distance I hear soft noises. At first I ignore them but as they come closer I finally take notice.

Tilting my head I hear laughter and something else. Closing my eyes I gasp as I hear my friend coming back.

Jumping from my perch, I try to understand what is happening.

With trembling steps, I walk toward the sound of barking as the lake goes quiet. Moving toward the branch that separated me from the dog, I reach out a hand and brush it aside.

It is him, it is my friend. Softly I call to him and he runs to my side. He jumps upon me as he licks me. Laughter of joy escapes from me as I fall backward and hug his big form to my body. Never do I wish to let go. Never do I wish to say good-bye.

In our play I did not notice the quiet footsteps of others approaching. I did not hear their sharp intakes of breaths nor did I feel their silence watching me. It is only when my friend jumps from me and runs to them do I see what is there.

The children are watching me as my friend runs around them. I am too shock, too afraid, to do anything but stare back. My voice is locked away and my limbs seem to be made of stone.

"Hello." one of the children finally says, "Do you wish to play with us?"

Then the others ask the same as one even holds out a tiny hand for my own.

Could I be dreaming again? If I was, I never wish to wake. With a smile overcoming my face, I reach out my hand and take it. When they move to walk passed my circle, I freeze. They ask me why I do not follow, but I can not answer. Instead I lower my head and pull away from them.

Friend, the lake whispers, freedom.

Freedom? I say in shock as I turn my gaze quickly to where the lake rest.

Freedom. It promises and in the wind I feel it touch my cheek as if it were laying a kiss upon me.

Once more I am brought to tears as the children grab my hands and pull me to their home. When I walk pass my circle I am free.

Friend.

X~x~X

The laked watched as the demon dreamt of things that would never be. It sadden it to know that the demon would never be happy with it. It's heart broke as the demon cried for what it could never have. Unable to set it free, the lake did the only thing it could have done to give him peace. How could it let itself go? The demon was the lake. The demon couldn't leave because it had no true form. It was an image that grew all on it's own.

With a gentle carass, the lake pulled the demon beneath its water to sleep it's finale moments away until the next life. As it disappeared beneath it's surface, the lake once more went unmoving. To be unnotice as the world deemed it. To be untouched and alone from all but it's demon, it's friend, it's family, itself.


End file.
